Control

July 31, 2010

photo by J. Davis

New Jersey has been experiencing, like the rest of the country, a terrible heatwave. There is scarcely any shelter from the sweltering heat, and sweating has become my natural state. My only escapes after a day of running around with 30 children in an open field are working out in an air-conditioned gym and sitting on my bed and reading. Both are equally relaxing, which surprises me especially because gymnastics used to be one of the largest stressors in my life. I can only think of two explanations for my change in attitude towards practice-either the fact that I wont be competing next season, or the influence of the summer. I’m leaning more towards the latter.

I’m usually a very hotheaded person, and it doesn’t take much to make me explode in a fit of rage. It’s one of my less redeeming qualities. Working with children can especially bring out my nastier side because they all seem to know how to push my buttons the wrong way. During the past couple of summers I would assert my authority through fiery shouting and anger. It was a good scare tactic, but the effects wore off eventually. And after a particularly difficult group of kids last year, I decided it was time to try a different approach to controlling kids.

The season has sedated me. I still yell this summer, that’s the only way that children will hear anything you say. I’ve just changed my tone of voice and my disposition. Instead of dreading work, I look forward to it by comparing it to torturous classes and essays and tests and college applications. In my mind, camp has become a place for me to kick back and relax, and sure, at the end of the day I’m wiped out from entertaining children and catering to their every needs, but I have nothing to worry about, and that’s something that I’ve needed a break from for a while.

And my anger towards disobedient and obnoxious children has subsided as well. Complaining about the children to my boss and my co-workers provides relief for the feelings, and one particular kid has me practicing ignoring what irks me and keeping my rage inside. He doesn’t know that he’s helping me-he’s under the impression that he is torturing me-but it’s better that way. I don’t want to see what he would do if he knew how I usually respond to pressure and people nagging me. He really wants to see me blow my top, but I refuse to let that happen. It’s a good exercise for my mind, and maybe this control will stick with me, and all I’ll need to make the anger wash over is a good squeeze of the ol’ stress ball.


You Really Got Me Bad

July 25, 2010

Newest guilty pleasure-Maroon 5. When I was in the 5th and 6th grade, I adored this band. Songs About Jane was, and I guess still is, a timeless album. Then the second album came out. I wasn’t too crazy about any of the songs, and Maroon 5 moved to the bottom of my CD stack.

That, however, may change with their new album, Hands All Over, which is due out September 21. Of course, this assumption is based solely on my love for the first single off the album, Misery. I am in love with this song, and I can’t stop playing the video, which is a mixture of sexy and violent, and all around amusement.


Summer of College

July 19, 2010

Here’s what I like in a school: flexibility, freedom, no core curriculum and a beautiful athletic center. I found all of those at the two colleges/universities that I’ve looked at so far this weekend: Hampshire College and Wesleyan University, and have made my decision to apply to both of them.

Hampshire College. What a place. It really stands out among all the other liberal arts colleges, it’s so unique and fun. I love their create your own major/thesis/end of college project approach as opposed to having to declare a set major, I love all of the classes the course catalogue has to offer, and the different fields of study that I can dabble in and that I can dabble in as many as I like in order to find my fit. I enjoyed the tour guides, and if they’re a good representation of what all of the students are like, I’m sure I’d love the student body. I love the location of the campus-a 20 minute drive from Amherst, sprawled out across acres of rolling green hills and farms and tall, healthy trees. If it weren’t for the hideous 70’s style concrete block architecture (which I say with love-the tour guide admits it too!) and my love for challenging/stressing myself out, I would apply to Hampshire early and call it a day. But because I love to set my sights higher than they should go, I’m going to apply to a reach school early.

Oh Wesleyan. How smitten I am with you. Your meal plans, your frequent concerts, your bustling campus life, your amazingly beautiful fitness center… I could go on. And that doesn’t even get me started on all the academics and academic opportunities that you have to offer. I am going to do everything in my power to get accepted into your class of 2015. I loved Middletown-yes, I’ll admit that it reminded me of Princeton. Like, a lot. And I’ll admit that because it reminded me so much of Princeton, I was very drawn to it. I felt comfortable there, well, probably not as comfortable as I do in Princeton. As it has been said, there’s no place like home. But I need to get out of Princeton-I love it, but I’m sick of it. Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or is it out of sight, out of mind? That is the real question.

After making my decision to apply to Wesleyan early decision, I started feeling very unwell. I’m so very scared for college, but excited at the same time. And those two feelings-fear and hope-they don’t mix well. I have to eliminate all of my fear.


Thoughts On True Blood: Episode 4 Season 3

July 13, 2010

*SPOILER ALERT!*SPOILER ALERT!*SPOILER ALERT!*

Where do I start? This season is overflowing with intertwining storylines that I hope all have a common connection in the end. Things are starting to make a little more sense, but there is way too much going on for it to be enjoyable. And there was barely any Sookie action! What the heck, that pint-sized telepath is one of the main reasons why I watch the show! There needs to be more development into her crazy supernatural powers, and a different answer to the question “what are you?” which everyone seems to always asks her. Because believe me, she is not just a waitress. Speaking of people we never see anymore, let’s not forget about Eric (mmmmm, Alexander Skarsgård)-he’s my favorite vampire on the show, and all of these side stories that don’t really matter are taking away from his screen time. Is he ever going to get what he wants from Sookie? Or are they just going to use his fantasies in the previews to trick us into watching? It’s driving me insane. Here’s why I’ll watch next week’s episode-I want to know what the heck Eric is doing placing the blame on Bill. Well, Pam did that, but I like Pam, and I would prefer to see more of her on the show (preferably teamed up with Lafayette-they would make a killer partnership) so I hope she doesn’t get killed off. But what the hell, Pam?!?! My prediction is that the Magister will go after Bill Compton but now that Bill isn’t working for Louisiana he wont be able to do anything about it. OR Bill and Sookie will meet up and confess their love for one another and have to flee the country or something crazy like that. How about that for a cliffhanger?

I’m also praying right now that Tara gets the chance to play hero after being kidnapped by Franklin. She’s got everything going for her, but boy is she in for a surprise. Perhaps she’ll try to redeem Sookie by attacking Bill when she runs into him next week (it’s inevitable). Come on, Tara, you got this girl. Be strong, I know you can!

As for the werewolf storyline, well, these are my thoughts. It’s too much like Twilight that it’s starting to irk me-all this crap about them being warm and shit. Come on Sookie, that was such a Stephanie Meyer-esque line. You’re better than that, True Blood Writers. I do love the Nazi-twist to their clan, and the whole Russel-as-their-leader twist is really intriguing. I just hope Sookie and Alcide don’t start hooking up. He’s a real hunk, but I do agree with a recent blog I read (link pending) that was annoyed with every male lead having a thing for Sookie. From Sam to Bill to Eric-let’s just keep Alcide brooding over that grimy bitch he’s in love with. His sister was pretty great though.

I just really miss Godric.

Come back, you cute little man/vamp!


I Pee My Pants

July 6, 2010

“Let me tell you something about Tom Riddle. We were teacher and student in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first enemy Grindelwald, who was totally gorgeous. But then I had to defeat him, and Tom was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to duel with Grindelwald, he’d be like “Why didn’t you fight me back?”. And I’d be like “Why are you so obsessed with me?”. So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-Muggle sympathisers pool party, I was like “Tom, I can’t invite you because I think you’re Lord Voldemort “. I mean, I couldn’t have a Dark Lord at my party. There were gonna be people there in their muggle clothes. I mean, right? He was the Dark Lord. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of society because no one would talk to his disembodied soul, and he came back in the fall for the second Wizarding War, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s got Horcruxes.”

link.


Legal Adult

July 3, 2010

MY BEFO EMMERRR TURNED 18 TODAY!!!!!! My baby is all grown up, I’m gonna cry. Jesus, Em, now you can get arrested and go to prison! And buy a lighter! And vote! And that’s about all, because New Jersey is fucking lame! Oh Em, my love, have a wonderful day! Enjoy your presents and your sunrise, which I will watch with you tomorrow morning!


Legal Adult

July 3, 2010

Today, Lizzy DeClement becomes one. I can’t really believe it…SO OLD!!!

Happy Birthday Liz!!! Enjoy your day love!!